We are not nouns, we are verbs.
"We are not nouns, we are verbs. I am not a thing – an actor, a writer – I am a person who does things – I write, I act – and I never know what I am going to do next." Stephen Fry
I first came across this quote on the opening night of a play I was in. Someone had wrote it out and put it in our dressing room.
I found comfort in the quote, although I’m not really sure I fully understood it all at the time. I think I related to the ‘I am a person who does things’ aspect, because I was going through a time in my life when I felt quite low most of the time and not very much like a person at all.
Now I have a deeper understanding of this quote and find it to be very empowering and celebratory. It’s very freeing.
The pandemic has forced us to question so much of our individual identity, including our relationship with work and careers.
When we tie our self identity up in our job, we face something of a crisis when we are not currently doing that job. Are you still an actor if you aren’t currently booked for an acting gig? Yes, of course. But hustle culture won’t tell you that. It will tell you to hustle to a book a gig so that you can legitimately call yourself an actor.
Are you a writer if a handful of people read your work? Yes. But hustle culture (and that nagging saboteur in your head) will tell you you should have an infinite amount of readers clinging to your every word.
Titles and labels take away the nuance of the person behind the profession.
The rest of the quote is as follows:
“I think you can be imprisoned if you think of yourself as a noun."
I agree.
It’s limiting and it keeps you in a box. Thinking of myself as a noun is what encourages fear to appear when I dare to try something new. It enables the fear of other people around me who have become used to me being an (insert noun here) to seep into my psyche. It tells me that noun is who I am and who I will always be.
Someone I know and love expressed their shock when I once told them I was working on a writing project. ‘What happened to the acting?!” they gasped. As if I couldn’t do both. As if doing one meant failing to do the other.
We are all human and we are multifaceted. I like variety in my work. I like the idea of doing this one day and that another day and doing more of this and less of that. A playful mindset. Isn’t that what we encourage kids to do? Explore, be free, discover.
The pandemic is forcing people to face up to their reality and dream their future and take steps towards whatever it is that they really want to be doing. It’s not easy, it takes courage and the journey might be slow. But what an exciting journey to take..
I admire people who realise the variety of their ambitions and who are open to following all of them.
Just recently I read about a guitarist who toured with some big names but decided to train as a dentist. Someone else I know is studying to become a personal trainer alongside their day job. Someone else allocates a day off in the middle of their work week to play. Amazing!
I am inspired by people who have the courage to say that they are bored with where they are and what they are doing. They either seek to channel their skillset into something else or decide to embark on something brand new.
None of these passions or ambitions need to be on a large scale by the way. Small changes can revolutionise how we feel about ourselves, the things we do and also the way we do them.
Some people wear the labels of a multi-hyphenate career like a badge of honour and others are weighed down with the labels they attach to themselves.
I like the idea of being a verb. Of switching things up. Of stopping and starting. Trying and failing with joy. Of spending some days splashing in shallow water and other days diving into the deep end.
Someone once said to me, ‘you do lots of different things, don’t you?’ and I laughed and said yes. Of course I do.
I am not a thing. I am a person who does things.
(Sidebar: it’s a pandemic, it’s easy to feel like we aren’t verbs. But guess what? Even if right now you are slowly sinking into the sofa stressing about the state of the world, that’s okay. You’re still a person and you are still doing things. Even if those things look a little different right now.
There’s no pressure. Rest up. Take your time. I’m so glad that you’re here)
💜 Thank you 💜
Recently I had quite a flurry of comments from people who related to I’m not shy, I’m quiet and Stop telling me that I’m going to be a star.
Thank you for sharing your experiences (and for sharing the posts!). And thank you for your encouraging comments, it really is appreciated x
Takeaways
📘 After last week’s post, a few people reached out to recommend Quiet by Susan Cain. I haven’t read it yet but it’s on my list!
📺 The Anti-Small Talk Workshop - Letters from Esther Perel. This was really fascinating in terms of how we have conversations, the questions we ask and what we can do to maintain connections and seek new ones. Also I’m on board with the idea of a casual, fun approach to big questions in everyday conversations.
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