My accent changes depending on where I am and who I'm with
I was fortunate to be cast in a play set in my hometown in Essex.
As I read my lines out loud I felt a rush of familiarity.
Oh the joy of dropping t’s and garbling words and using slang in the accent I knew and had as a teenager.
(Alright, I had to edit the accent slightly because of the character I was playing, but still, it felt great to have a break from the rp accent actors are so often encouraged to adopt.) You can check the play out here
Have you ever come away from a conversation going ‘What was that?! Why did you sound like that or use x word?! Who do you think you are?’
I’ve done this so many times I can’t count. I’ve almost always come away feeling disappointed in myself. And I’ve scolded myself for having a lack of control - how did that accent come out and why? I didn’t consciously choose to switch up the way I spoke. At least I don’t think I did…did I? Do I do that? Am I insecure? Am I fake? They’re gonna think I’m trying hard to fit in. Is that what I’m doing? How comes I talk differently when I’m out in the world compared to when I’m at home?
It’s called bidialectalism. It’s a way of changing speaking styles depending on the situation people find themselves in.
I think as individuals we see this as something shameful, as if we’re being fake or apologising for our accent or upbringing and so we adopt a different accent or dialect.
In reality, switching up the way we speak is a tool for survival. It’s a subconscious decision, one that we undertake to either help us fit in or one that reminds us of who we are and where we come from.
Here’s some of the situations where I have noticed I change my accent:
When I’m talking to my brother and my cousin We talk to each other in some sort of hybrid accent: cockney + Essex + vague Indian accents + slang + quotes. We mumble and gloss over words and our syntax makes no sense to an outside ear but we understand each other perfectly.
It’s fascinating when family talk to each other. There are members of my family who came to this country and worked hard to get rid of their accent because, well, racism. And so when these family members are together they adopt an accent, gestures and sometimes even vocabulary, sometimes even in another language, that I never hear or see them use outside of talking to each other. Bidialectalism is a way of maintaining a social identity.
If I’m in a posh area I’ll either adopt an accent to fit in or I’ll purposely talk in my native essex gal because I find it amusing how people react. It becomes a game to me.
When I’m angry or think something’s hilarious: I’m Essex/Cockney-Indian/East London baby, all the way.
Although if I’m really angry, sometimes I can be alarmingly articulate and clear, and the voice becomes a little more middle class. (I wonder if that plays into social conditioning, this idea of women needing to present controlled anger in order to be taken seriously?)
With colleagues: If I don’t know you that well, I become neutral and well spoken until we get to know each other better. Or sometimes I adopt how you speak. For example, if everyone in the office is very middle class and well spoken, chances are I’ll either start speaking the same or I will go the opposite direction, so as not to lose a sense of who I am. (I’m not usually aware when this is happening, I’m only realising some of the patterns now as I’m writing this letter and looking back at experiences in my life.)
I find other people’s reactions to my accent interesting:
‘You don’t sound like an Essex girl’ - this happened a lot when I was younger - and when TOWIE first came out. It seemed that after the first full sentence I spoke that didn’t have the words ‘hiya!’ or ‘arite?’ in it, then I was approved. I never knew how to respond. I had to mentally calculate whether it’s worth pointing out the person’s ignorance. Normally I sarcastically say ‘thanks’ but this usually goes over the person’s head and now they think we’re friends, oh dear.
‘Rubber dinghy rapids’ I’ve found that people are pleasantly surprised by my accent, it’s not the stereotypical, racist accent that people often expect brown people of colour to have and so people let their guard down with me. They feel it’s okay to say certain things to me. I was working a corporate gig with another actor and we started talking about films. We both mentioned Four Lions…and then they started quoting the film at me, doing an accent and watching me expectantly like I should approve or applaud or just feel pleased to feel included. It was a very quiet train journey home.
I know that for lots of people Christmas is a time to reconnect with the place they came from or the people they grew up with; perhaps it’s an opportunity to effortlessly slip into the accent they once had, wearing it like a badge of honour, like a pair of battered, comfy slippers or an overstretched cosy cardy. It represents familiarity and a sense of home.
I hope you are able to find your voice this festive season. Whether it’s having an angry rant on the phone to a loved one, where your native accent might become even stronger the more angry and upset you get. Or even if it’s a quiet tweet sent into the atmosphere to wish good will to all folks. I hope you find your voice. I hope you don’t give yourself too hard a time if it sounds different. Remember, it’s the sound of you trying to survive. And you’re doing brilliantly x
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Takeaways
🦁 I mentioned it in the letter so I might as well drop it in here: Four Lions. Great film, definitely not Christmassy, but it is laugh out loud funny.
🧦 Slipper Socks. I hadn’t worn them since I was a teen but I recently received some pairs as a gift and I’m so thrilled I can’t even begin to tell you!
📺 This Is Us I started season 5 and I’m not sure if it’s wise to be doing so but it’s happening and it’s cathartic and I need more folk to discuss this show with please.
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The kindness of readers: