Blanket rejection via email is one thing but...pal...we had an actual conversation! 😅
A tweet of mine did the rounds last week, with people sharing their similar tales of having job interviews or face to face meetings and then never hearing a peep.
It got me thinking about the most interesting ways I’ve been rejected. I’m sharing these experiences with you to make you laugh. And to remind you that humans are ridiculous.
‘Erm…I’m not sure what to do with you. Erm…Let me think. Yeah because I’m not sure whether to…hmm…’ This was said to me at the end of an audition and interview via video conference. And of course, my dad, who said he was going to give me some privacy during my call, was in the other room listening.
‘By the way did you get an invite to the magazine launch party that we had two months ago?’ No, I didn’t. I’m just here to chase my late invoice…for my contribution to the magazine.
‘By the way, how old are you?…Oh.’ A 90s night in Camden. I was one year older than the man I was talking to and he didn’t like that.
‘We didn’t think you’d want to go so we didn’t ask you.’ Some friends of mine talking about a group holiday they’d booked.
‘We’ll send you some more information and we’ll definitely be in touch’ It’s been 18 months…I’m guessing I didn’t get the job?
‘We didn’t hire you because you’re an artist and we thought that’s what you should be doing instead’ I thought that’s what I should be doing too, but I wanted monies and stability via a couple of shifts a week…?!
‘You just missed out on this. The casting I had in mind for you went rapidly. People watching their phones intently right now.’ Dammit Naomi, why are your eyes not glued to the screen at all times! Don’t you know that replying within an hour of the email being sent is not rapid enough response during a pandemic?!
(Also…if you had a casting with me in mind, would you not email me directly, instead of sending a group email with no casting info at all…?)
I was offered a role then got recast because the director was calling late at night and I was on another call. In between noticing the missed call and calling back (about 15 minutes later) I had been recast.
‘She said you’re a bit tricky didn’t she? So I won’t do you.’ This was said to me by a makeup artist who was learning how to do BAME hair and makeup for film and tv. I was one of the models. The tutor had said my complexion would need careful attention and the makeup artist ran for the hills. Sigh. Baby steps towards inclusion, diversity and representation hey?
Please don’t feel sorry for me. Yes rejection sucks. But I’ve gained a lot from these rejections:
✅ I’ve witnessed first hand how not to reject someone.
✅ I’ve learned how to establish my professional boundaries - I won’t sit staring at the screen confused and a little hurt the next time someone says that they aren’t sure what to do with me.
✅ I’ve learned not to take rejection so personally - it’s not my problem if you’re upset that I’m older than you. And I’m not responsible for your fear of making a mistake and so you avoid using me as a model to practise on.
These rejections are now anecdotes.
I share them in conversation. I share them on social media and in newsletters.
They make people laugh. They make me laugh.
And of course, the more rejections I get, the closer I am to reaching my goal of 100 rejections a year.
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Takeaways
🥧 Shout out to Sian Meades-Williams and Anna Codrea-Rado for sparking honest conversations about income by breaking down their earnings using #FreelancePie charts. I’d strongly recommend searching the hashtag on twitter - the results are exciting and surprising!
🏨 I’m re-binging Stath Lets Flats
💎 I watched Rocks, a British film about a young girl who is left to take care of her younger brother. Very moving and realistic. It’s funny too.
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