Let's Play A Game: An Alternative Way To Cope With Rejection
last year I played a game called 100 Rejections A Year.
it's my way of redefining success/failure (specifically in my career/work endeavours).
I have a small piece of card on my wall and I add to the tally every time I receive a rejection. it's actually a really fun ritual. it's kind of cleansing, like turning the page to a new chapter. I feel my emotional response to the rejection is put to rest once I mark it down. I excitedly pick a different coloured pen each time and I think about what I will reward myself when I get to 100 rejections.
(I didn't actually get to 100 in 2019. not because I got everything I wanted but because most people/places don't send rejection emails, they leave you to assume that you probably didn't get the thing you worked hard to apply for...)
I usually tweet when I get a rejection and the responses are interesting. some people celebrate with me and send me congratulatory gifs and emojis, others want to join in the game too.
some people send commiserations. they misunderstand the game. they only see it in terms of winning/losing. there's no congratulations for trying. I know people mean well, but the “it's so hard isn't it” or “oh my gosh i am so sorry that sucks.” feels a little collude-y.
I understand it. rejection does suck! don't get me wrong, some rejections sting much more than others. it can sometimes be hard not to take it personally. there's definitely been times where I've had a little cry, or sworn incessantly under my breath and compared myself to others who I see as ‘successful’*
but actually this idea of accessibility and reality was another reason for me to play this game and to play it publicly. I wanted to be honest about what goes on behind the scenes.
we live in a culture where we are taught that failure defines us. that constant commercial output is success. that we should only celebrate our ‘wins’*
I’ve just always been more interested in the human behind the highlights reel.
this game is my way of celebrating because to get a rejection means I tried at something. I put myself forward. I gave it a go. and I don't want to wait around for 'big'* achievements in order to celebrate myself.
so who wants to play 100 rejections a year with me? we can think of rewards when we hit certain benchmarks or we can just virtually high five over the interweb.
either way, good luck in your endeavours and congratulations if you get what you go after…and congratulations if you don’t x
*what do these words even mean?!
Takeaways From My Week:
I’ve been listening to….How To Fail With Elizabeth Day. the latest episode features my good friend* (I wish) Andrew Scott)
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